Friday, April 20, 2007

April Showers

Its ok. You can come out of the attic now.

As we all continue struggling to find meaning in the last bloodthirsty warning post, I've given myself enough material to segue into the present blog - DESPITE wasting all my time getting sucked into overhyped digg links (BEST JUPITER PICTCHUR YOUR EVER GONNA SEE!!!(link)) and sobbing silently into my hands at the stupidity of YouTube commenters.

So, it is and has been a month of profound change here in Japan. It is during this month that the Japanese enjoy a picnic of beer, washed down with beer, under the venerable sakura tree, whose evanescent blossoms symbolize everything from the swift passing of life to the swift passing of beer under trees.*

For teachers and other civil servants, April brings great relief or great anxiety, depending upon whether or not you have been selected to transfer. It is said that these transfers help prevent corruption and serve to make the most well trained employee, but in the case of teachers, whose social lives are already suffocated by work, such inarguable change is one reason for the tearful sayonara parties.

As a result, I'm now sitting next to a stinkin PEN HORDER at one school and a Voluntarily Bald at the other!! Neither needs further discussion, although we are curious about Voluntarily B. Furthermore, due to retirement, we received a new, rookie principal at my smaller, family-like school, and the transplant was not unlike a stepfather meeting his new kids for the first time.

I was asked to do a self-introduction when we met, and it was ok until I freaked and screamed "YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER!!!" My voice a blood-curdling 170 decibles, tears spraying from my eyes, I stormed away amid complete silence (they were probably impressed) to my happy spot in the music room, where I played tamborine until I couldn't play anymore.

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*there are still some petals hanging outside, so if you would like to join me in appreciating the bittersweet nature of life, aided with beer, please contact.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Stand Down

I have allowed you to ride my bus, both to and fro, but the time has come to set you straight, ass.

Our non verbal agreement stated that your territory was the rear of the bus and that NR7000's territory included the front, the women, shit, even the old ass bus driver.

U fucked up.

I noticed you creepin closer lately. It came to a head when one of mah old ladies gave you candy too. Unacceptable, dogg.

Come tomorrow you best be sittin atop tha engine in the back or you WILL get stuck with a pencil.

After that, you cold, knawmean.

NR7000 out