eye candy

short update. i realized last night that in a span of the last 24 hours i had:

A) told one female jet that i had no testicles, and
B) told another female jet she was eating monkey brain (which yielded no laughter, sadly)

anyway, as expected, i'm still adjusting to Life In Japan. i will never grasp the cm/km conversion, nor volume in milliliters, nor, yet, how big a room is by how many tatami mats you can fit on the floor, and on top of that every time i ride my bike i'm taking an exciting gamble with death. every update could be my last.

as i was the final JET to arrive in ono city i missed the customary welcome parties that the others have enjoyed. this means for better or worse i've missed the standard japanese bonding practice of vomiting on your coworkers in a spectacular, campbell's chunky soup kind of way. if and when a party is held in my honor, i'll likely have to display my prowess at the dreaded chopstick and, for those who no habla espanol, i cannot use chopsticks. although my skills have improved a bit, i continue to struggle to grab food smaller than shaquille o'neal.

another thing that takes getting used to is the tear jerking price of ice cream. countries have different bases to their currency; america has the gold standard, and japan - you would have to assume - has the ice cream standard. i bought something called "Suupaa-Cappu," or Super Cup, about the size of a side a'mash'taters at KFC, for FOUR DOLLARS*. however, japan's sweets industry does almost redeem itself with its outstanding presentation and quality. at the supermarket today i spotted a store called "Dessert Island," a name more clever than i'm willing to give them credit for.

for those of you wondering what my apartment looks like, i was able to snap some shots and put them up on webshots. please check my webshots set for the entirety of my "Japan Pics," and please check my flickr set for my favorites. feel free to let me know if you think anything should be on the flickr set.

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* to its credit it was delicious and made me very happy

ono

i'm settled now in ono-city and life here is good. the heat, though, is oppressive and the humidity uncompromising. they say this will last　through september and into october before we get much relief.

got into ono on friday, where i was taken directly to the board of　education and into a meeting with the SUPERINTENDENT and one of his　Main Men, a guy who stared a hole through me with crossed arms the　entire time. i completely forgot to use polite language forms when　speaking, so i think at one point i commanded the superintendent to　repeat what he said. no worries, though, because i can always play　the "stupid foreigner" card.

after meeting them i was given a tour of my apartment, which by　japanese standards is very nice. by my standards, not paying rent is　also very nice. i have a little washing machine, a real box of chaos,　that had me guessing every step of the way at 6am when i　couldn't sleep. the toilet is separated from the rest of　the bathroom, in typical japanese fashion, and this caused unnecessary confusion already when i woke up and rushed into the shower last night.

my first night in town, most of the other jets (2 canadiens, 1 brit,　1 aussie) took me out to a little izakaya (pub) where we drank and　ate communally. in japan when you go out with a group, you order　millions of little dishes and everyone picks at them throughout the　night. nice group, them. 7 of the 9 JETs in town live in one apt　building, including myself, so its nice to have them nearby when i　need help in certain situations, such as when i went to shower and　realized i had neither soap nor towel.

last weekend i went with a couple of the girls into kobe for what was　advertised by the hyogo jet association as a party at a hip hop club　but turned out to be us, a few other jets and literally billions of japanese　homeboys and girls. this was supposed to last from 8pm till 5am,　and, sensing impending boredom, we took a few long walks outside throughout the night. this is always fun for me in big cities and kobe　was no exception. there's a different crowd there than in tokyo, a　looser, cooler crowd, and one which seems more up my alley.

employees in stores of any kind here in japan will always greet you, the customer, with a hearty "irasshaimase!!", something to the effect of "welcome!". you're not supposed to say anything in response- just go about your business and act like they're dead to you. this is hard for me because i've got a knee-jerk reaction to greet people back, so i'm constantly suppressing the urge to welcome them in their stores as i walk in.

i visited one of my two schools today and met some kids in an after school classroom but i'll save that for the next update. i'm using the community center's wifi in the meantime as i wait for A) my foreigner card to arrive, B) A), then getting a cell phone, and C) both A) and B), so i can get internet. as i write this, one of the many wrinkly faced turtles that are the aging night security has walked by AGAIN, armed with his flashlight and white gloves, so i think its time to pack it up. more to come.

Ch-ch-changes

I hate change!!!1

"But change is good," someone says, from the Red Dragon Inn 24 chat room (circa 1996).

Yeah I know. Fine. But like David Bowie said, it aint easy. Today's been terribly sad for me as I met with and said goodbye to my dear friends and family. I'm leaving them. I'm leaving home. I'm leaving my fucking cats.

Oh fuck, I'm leaving Paddlefoot. And Mama. One of those two little furballs repeatedly slapped my face this morning with their paw, trying to wake me up. How can you not have love for that?

My neighbor, though I haven't ever met him, has been given one to two weeks to live. What a horrible way to die -- knowing that you won't wake up in a couple of weeks. I don't like to be reminded that this happens, and that things have an ending. Just like when I walked away from my desk and to my car in the parking lot last week at work, it came to an end. My job of almost 6 years. People I grew with, people that grew me up. People I probably won't ever see again.

Although relationships can stay the same, people come and go, and this is something that becomes increasingly and painfully apparent at this stage in my life. It suuuucks to say goodbye to your friends, your family, to girls you never had the brass to say I Like You and step into the revolving door of life, but I guess, though, that when you exit you'll find yourself in a good place- a different place. I've never liked the transitory nature of all things but if there was a redeeming feature about it, it would be that every ending is a new beginning.

I'm allowed to bring only 140 pounds of my life with me to Japan. How do you pack for that? Its not easy.

Anyway, I should return to that, and with some luck I'll return home in 4 months or so and will see all the faces that make me happy (including the ones with whiskers: you know who you are). I won't have internet for a few weeks so until then, this is my last post. If I can ever learn Dreamweaver I'll make my planned website, nr7000.com, on which I'll be able to streamline my thoughts and photos from across the pond to share in a sort of one-stop-shop for all things Nicky.

Later, peeps.

On The Event Horizon

 NR7000.com is coming soon.

Also coming soon: life in Japan.

Plastic Underwear

Today I abandoned my recent habit of jogging after work for an equally healthy but infinitely more gratifying session of NAPPING. Waking up occasionally from the nap to the tune of every single light in the basement being flipped on by my siblings, I felt a little more refreshed, if groggy, and continued to amaze myself at my ability to somehow rotate my shirt backwards whilst sleeping.

Being that I had Jimmy John's for lunch this afternoon -- going against all natural instinct inside telling me to run far, far away, wetting myself for added defense -- I awoke with my stomach in a tizzy.

Blahpt. Squirt. Rrrrrrr. Blopt.

So casting common sense aside for a moment, actually many moments, I followed the attractive smells wafting down from the kitchen and proceeded to eat dinner until my teeth had eroded into smooth, tiny nubs. And so here I am. In pain.

Let's rewind back to this morning at work: sitting stoically at ready position with hand on mouse should an actual task came my way, gazing with baggy eyes and puffy skin into my 17-inch box of pain, I felt a burning sensation coming from two unmistakable places beneath my shirt. Yes, my nipples were on fire.

Haha, no -- nobody brought a super nintendo in the office. It was the lingering pain I felt yesterday while running the track. My god, one has enough things to complain about while running (such as running)- I don't need this too. Aside from breathing harder in an attempt to trick passersby into thinking I was moving faster than evolution, swiftly prompting the women to dial 911, I furtively tugged at my shirt on the uptakes to relieve the horrific pain that came with each purpose questioning step. I considered cutting pancake sized holes into my shirt but started to laugh, causing only more extremely cautious double-takes. Now that I think about it, I would fully endorse this measure for women with similar pain. Liberation!!!

So anyway. Time continues it's unstoppable path toward my departure date, now just 12 days away, and suffice to say I've run dry of all underwear shitting myself in glee. Kroger bags make serviceable subsitutes, I've found out. You just have to work the holes right. I also learned that I'll be teaching at two elementary schools and will have an apartment the size of, approximately, Elvis in his declining years. Did I mention that my rent will be paid for? At this moment I'd like to extend both my middle fingers in the direction of that effete Asian-American boogerhead who I just KNOW banished me to the bottom of the alternates list way back in February during interviews.

12 more days.