Bottoms Up
Like the battered hand of Shredder reaching up from beneath the rubble, I attempt to return to the world of blogging after what has been an eternity of online time, or about a month. And after carefully examining the link between what I've said on my blog and what I actually do thereafter, I can state without a doubt that I have the teeth-bearing determination and impenatrable willpower of our friend Carol Yager.
"What?" you ask, as you scratch your head and fart a little. Well let me tell you. A lot has happened -- I mean a fucking lot -- since the last update, and I blame this for my conspicuous but healthy absence from cyberspace. Since moving out of my apartment on the southside, I stayed at a furnished flat for a brief period of 3 and a half weeks near downtown (EDITED). This armed me with some knee-slapping stories for the bar, and it was fun to be able to tell them, but as soon as I reported my findings to the group, my time there was seemingly over and I had to move out.
With the knowledge that I had a job lined up in Japan for the end of November, I allowed the 'P' word to creep in and rule my life with an iron fist. I do of course refer to procrastination here, and so every time I thought "do something productive, like roll yourself over at least," the idea was swiftly struck down by the fat little devil on my shoulder seductively whispering "you have 4 months!!" Thus, my well meaning goals of reading, jogging and studying Japanese were very quickly run into the ground in place of less worthy activities, such as nothing. And then. And then!
And then on July 13th, I received a call at work from the Japanese consulate in Chicago informing me that I had been upgraded into the JET Program. You might recall my bright eyed post LAST DECEMBER talking about the application I'd just sent in, and wondering if I'd be sent off to a mountain village that evolution forgot whose chief wore a necklace of human skulls.
Finally, I'm in.
So on August 22nd I will be on an airplane for 13 hours, headed for a year of exciting new experiences in Japan; not the least of which includes having children ram their fingers up my arse (I'll explain more as it happens). These last 2 weeks have been a mad dash to get the proper paperwork in order, allowing me very little time to devote to telling everyone about those dildos, and time is just slipping through my fingers. One benefit to leaving so soon, however, is that I get to live for free at my parents' house. For the first time in 5 years.
You know you're living at your parents' house again when:
- you wake up grabbing for a gun you don't have, then realize "oh, I'm in the basement"
- you flip everything on just for the hell of it
- snacks turn into binges of biblical proportion
- you reach a new area code just by entering the garage
Happy time. But every ying has its yang, and I must say goodbye to the old as I welcome the new here very soon. I'm talking about my job at the CSR, the workplace everyone loves to hate*, one which I'll have an undeniable fondness for when I look back. Recently the heat wave has been so intense that we've kept the air inside the office at a cool 18 Kelvin, rendering it not unlike a morgue, but still with less soul. As distracted as I have been the last two weeks with the news of making JET, I've found it increasingly difficult to concentrate on the tasks handed to me- especially as they're handed to me. Perhaps I'm just subconsciously prepping myeslf for a world of confusion in Japan, but I often find myself nodding and grunting in faux understanding of what I'm told to do.
HER: You wanna hit 'print properties' and then adjust the margins to point 5 on each side.
ME: Yeah.
HER: After that I need you to check and make sure the data all looks right-- the questions imported properly, there arent any wiggy values, that kind of thing.
ME[staring intently, blankly at her comptuer screen]: ookayyyy.
After this I march off, clutching my chickenscratch notes and nodding my head, only to realize after I've reached the safety of my desk that I have no idea what the feck I'm doing.
Bottoms up, Japan.
------------------------
*Or maybe just me
"What?" you ask, as you scratch your head and fart a little. Well let me tell you. A lot has happened -- I mean a fucking lot -- since the last update, and I blame this for my conspicuous but healthy absence from cyberspace. Since moving out of my apartment on the southside, I stayed at a furnished flat for a brief period of 3 and a half weeks near downtown (EDITED). This armed me with some knee-slapping stories for the bar, and it was fun to be able to tell them, but as soon as I reported my findings to the group, my time there was seemingly over and I had to move out.
With the knowledge that I had a job lined up in Japan for the end of November, I allowed the 'P' word to creep in and rule my life with an iron fist. I do of course refer to procrastination here, and so every time I thought "do something productive, like roll yourself over at least," the idea was swiftly struck down by the fat little devil on my shoulder seductively whispering "you have 4 months!!" Thus, my well meaning goals of reading, jogging and studying Japanese were very quickly run into the ground in place of less worthy activities, such as nothing. And then. And then!
And then on July 13th, I received a call at work from the Japanese consulate in Chicago informing me that I had been upgraded into the JET Program. You might recall my bright eyed post LAST DECEMBER talking about the application I'd just sent in, and wondering if I'd be sent off to a mountain village that evolution forgot whose chief wore a necklace of human skulls.
Finally, I'm in.
So on August 22nd I will be on an airplane for 13 hours, headed for a year of exciting new experiences in Japan; not the least of which includes having children ram their fingers up my arse (I'll explain more as it happens). These last 2 weeks have been a mad dash to get the proper paperwork in order, allowing me very little time to devote to telling everyone about those dildos, and time is just slipping through my fingers. One benefit to leaving so soon, however, is that I get to live for free at my parents' house. For the first time in 5 years.
You know you're living at your parents' house again when:
- you wake up grabbing for a gun you don't have, then realize "oh, I'm in the basement"
- you flip everything on just for the hell of it
- snacks turn into binges of biblical proportion
- you reach a new area code just by entering the garage
Happy time. But every ying has its yang, and I must say goodbye to the old as I welcome the new here very soon. I'm talking about my job at the CSR, the workplace everyone loves to hate*, one which I'll have an undeniable fondness for when I look back. Recently the heat wave has been so intense that we've kept the air inside the office at a cool 18 Kelvin, rendering it not unlike a morgue, but still with less soul. As distracted as I have been the last two weeks with the news of making JET, I've found it increasingly difficult to concentrate on the tasks handed to me- especially as they're handed to me. Perhaps I'm just subconsciously prepping myeslf for a world of confusion in Japan, but I often find myself nodding and grunting in faux understanding of what I'm told to do.
HER: You wanna hit 'print properties' and then adjust the margins to point 5 on each side.
ME: Yeah.
HER: After that I need you to check and make sure the data all looks right-- the questions imported properly, there arent any wiggy values, that kind of thing.
ME[staring intently, blankly at her comptuer screen]: ookayyyy.
After this I march off, clutching my chickenscratch notes and nodding my head, only to realize after I've reached the safety of my desk that I have no idea what the feck I'm doing.
Bottoms up, Japan.
------------------------
*Or maybe just me
posted by Nicky @ 7/30/2006 01:23:00 PM
1 comments
