ALT Misses Bus, Boards Wrong One; Explanation Yields Mockery

Ono City- 24 year old Nicholas Roberts, first year ALT in Hyogo Prefecture (Japan), recently missed his bus to school and boarded an incorrect one in an attempt to rectify the situation, it was learned yesterday.

Following the advice of coworkers, Roberts modified his morning routine to include a breakfast of riceballs - to be eaten during his commute on the city bus.

"**** ***** riceball," he was quoted saying early Tuesday morning.

Due to a malfunction which Roberts blames on seaweed, rice spilled "all over the place" and time was lost. Enough time, in fact, that he abandoned protocol and attempted to board his bus at a different stop.

"This bus came when I thought my real bus would arrive," Roberts explained, "and they're the same color. So fuck yall."

Roberts said he knew something wasn't right when, after triumphantly stepping aboard said bus, he sat in his own seat amid a sea of sleeping businessmen; normally there were three women. Some time later, Roberts exited the bus and sheepishly boarded the regular chariot not far behind.

When explaining the story to a busmate who was absent the following morning, she voluntarily translated to the rest of the bus -- reportedly much to the chagrin of Roberts. Laughter erupted from the women followed by a decrescendo of psychobabble.