Meh.

I'm back again. And with nothing helpful to add either, so close your eyes.

I'm bitter right now. Its because I open myself up to certain people sometimes and get my heart broken. In the grand scheme of things, its good for a person to go through that. It just sucks, you know, GOING through it. You're used to waking up and being able to think of someone, and you can't do that anymore. Try telling your heart to be quiet; its hard.

I think I'm dependent on constant forces in my life. I just graduated and now that I'm kind of floating around in the real world, it scares the shit out of me. Its like I've got to go somewhere and look for someone and look for stability. I don't really like using that word, because I think I'm a stable guy...but I just like having someone around, you know? And you never think you've done anything to deserve it. That also is hard to swallow. Meh.

Its 1:07 on Christmas morning and I'm at the computer doing this. I'm not in a terrible state or anything. I'm okay. I'm just trying to write more as a means of "self-help". I'm also here since my dad's in the den assembing Christmas gifts, simultaneously cursing the Chinese and preventing me from sleeping in there. So I'm sorry if this hasn't been funny or witty or whatever. I'm going through some shit and you all have been there before too. I'll be fine. I think now I'm gonna go find a spot in the house and sleep.